Decisions
by Andorian Ice Princess-AIP
Summary: She was torn. Leave her home, her family…her past or stay and fight for her future. But instead of getting on a plane to NY, Erin ends up at the last place anyone would expect and the same time as someone she didn't expect to see; something that turns out to be the right decision. #lindseride


**Title: Decisions**

 **Summary:** She was torn. Leave her home, her family…her past or stay and fight for her future. But instead of getting on a plane to NY, Erin ends up at the last place anyone would expect and the same time as someone she didn't expect to see; something that turns out to be the right decision. #lindseride

 **Disclaimer:** Same as always. I own nothing but my muse and my love for all things #firefighters #Sevasey & #Lindseride

 **A/N:** Okay so I refuse to believe that Erin is leaving Chicago and this little piece is going to combine some Erin stuff and some Kelly stuff from both finales but isn't an eppy recap so it's a standalone piece and hope you all like it b/c I want to believe Kelly would change her mind to help her stay hehe

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 _"Don't look back…"_

Voight's words still resound in her head as Erin stands in the cool night air and stared at the blue and green lights atop the Chicago Tower in the near distance.

 _This is home,_ she told herself as her heart started to beat a bit faster than she had almost ever experienced. _I can't leave…but if I stay…_ "if I stay…" her words died out in the cool night air. "I can't stay…" she turned and looked at the dark Jeep parked a few feet away and felt her heart sink. Erin took a few steps toward the Jeep and then stopped before she got inside and then say and stared at the twinkling city lights before her.

"Bunny…damn you mom!" She hissed in an undertone as her eyes welled and her fists balled as she struck the steering wheel for a few seconds before she slumped back in the leather seat and offered a small curse in an undertone. As much as she wanted to blame her mother solely for her current professional nightmare, she knew inside, she was partly to blame for this mess.

Erin leaned back in the seats and closed her eyes as she heard Upton's voice calling out to her to leave her gun… _'Lindsay your gun! Your gun...'_ but she wasn't listening to what would have been the voice of reason; she just wanted to find that boy – alive.

But she was too late…they were too late and now she'd have to live with the boy's death because of her failure and now her own professional nightmare. _You can't stay here…you know that…you need to leave now…_ however as she put the key into the ignition and turned the engine over, her heart sunk even further.

She slowly turned the Jeep onto the main road and just started to drive – somewhat aimlessly. _Where can I go? Can I talk to anyone who will just listen and give me an objective answer? Someone...who..._ you know who you want to see, her mind chided as she tried to swallow the small lump of emotion that formed. She hoped that if she just drove around and listened to her own thoughts, something would present itself. That didn't happen - at least not on her own. Instead, a different path...a new fork in the road was presented.

About twenty minutes later, she swallowed back an angry sniffle and then squinted her eyes at the familiar car parked on the street outside the fenced off area that housed a burnt warehouse; a street that she didn't consciously plan to take but one that just presented itself.

"What the hell…Kelly?" Erin muttered as she stopped the Jeep and then got out and hurried toward his car; her mind and heart instantly worried about him being in the unfamiliar area at night in the dark. She quickly pulled her small flashlight and looked inside and then frowned as she looked up; wondering where he went. "Kelly…" her words stopped as soon as she saw the lock on the gate cut and the dirt freshly moved. "What's going on?" She muttered as she headed toward the opened part of the fencing that was being used to keep the general public out of the structural deathtrap.

She squeezed her way inside and then stopped and listened. At first she was only greeted with silence but before she could call out his name, a small dance of light in the distance stopped her words once more and she carefully picked her way over the uneven ground and neared the entrance to the darkened structure.

Kelly Severide heard the some crunching outside and headed toward the entrance and shone his light on the figure which quickly recoiled but instantly identified themselves. "Erin? What are you doing here?"

"I'd ask you the same thing but…but seeing the condition of the building I'd say pretty obvious. So…big fire here today?"

"Uh yeah…so what are you…" Kelly replied in haste as her small flashlight shone up on his face for a few seconds when his voice broke and she could instantly see that not all was right.

"What happened?"

"Have you…talked to Trudy today?"

"She's left me a few urgent texts but…but I just didn't feel like…I haven't had time to call her back yet. What's going on? Is she okay?"

"Well…seven of us were trapped in there today. It uh…it was pretty dire but Mouch had a heart attack. He's at med now. Casey suffered some smoke inhalation and the rest of us…just some minor burns and stuff."

"I didn't…is he okay?" Erin asked in shock as Kelly gently shrugged and then looked away. "I'm…I'm so sorry."

"There are some calls…I think this one will stay with us for a long time. When you're in there. You uh…you always make sure you have a way out but today…hearing so many trapped, pinned down…no way out…" his voice died out into a small sniffle as he looked back at her with a tight lipped smile. "I hope he'll be okay."

"Yeah…me too. I'll…call her later. I was so caught up with a case today that…I should have answered."

"You were busy," he tried to assure her as she couldn't help but offered him a comforted smile.

She was about to say _family comes first…_ but it was her immediate family that was the current cause of her stress and it just didn't have the same noble ring to it when it centered around Bunny Fletcher – her mother.

"So…you came back here to…to what?"

"To…I don't know…maybe see if there was another way I could have done things. Maybe faster. Learn for next time. Each fire…each mistake helps you know what not to do next time. Who's judgement to trust. Who's not to…just…yeah. How come you're here?"

"Was driving by and saw your car empty and…guess I was a bit…worried so I stopped," she concluded her confession with a small smile as his grin widened in the dimly lit surroundings.

"Kinda dark and lonely around here," he swiftly reminded her. "Not that safe."

"I…carry a gun."

"Right," he slightly smirked.

"So….you wanna show me what happened?"

"Y-you wanna see?"

"Sure," Erin shrugged in reply.

"Nowhere else to be right now?"

"Just…right here."

"Okay…just watch your step. AI has already been through so…so we're not going to disturb anything but even still…was told to stay away."

"By Boden?"

"Said it was for my own good," Kelly replied as he shone his light on where the AI team concluded the fire started. "Number of accelerants used but it looks like it started here and then…then with all the flammable stuff in here plus this building itself it was a deathtrap," he explained as he stopped.

"Not going in further?"

"Not safe. Kannell and I were there," he shone his light as Erin's warm hazel eyes followed the small beam. "It was…damn there was a moment it seemed we were all done."

He paused for a few seconds before he felt her hand on his arm and looked down with visual distress and quickly swallowed.

"I can't imagine."

"Casey was on the other side of that wall and then Stella, Otis…to his left and…Herrmann and Mouch after that. First thing you're taught….always know your exits. It just…just got away on us. Sure learnt a scary lesson," his voice faded out as he looked back at the place he was standing when he told Boden he was trapped. "When you face something that can end something you worked so hard for…damn you just wanna make sure next time…there is no next time."

"What if…what if you make a mistake you can't come back from?"

"You're still here right?" Kelly countered as he turned to her with a serious expression; the faint glow making her distressed features a bit more exaggerated. "Boden always says if you can look back and say I hope I learn for the next time…that is the next time. Still alive to learn. Dad too. He wasn't much of a normal father growing up but he…he always taught me that after a tense call, go back to the area, face the demon head on and tell yourself what you'll do better next time."

"Sounds good," Erin agreed morosely.

"Erin, what's going on?"

"I…I gotta go," Erin stated in haste as she tried to pull away.

"Hey…wait," Kelly uttered in haste as he grabbed her arm and forced her to turn around.

"I HAVE TO LEAVE!" Erin half shouted as she yanked her arm free and then cursed as she shook her head but remained in place. "Sorry."

"Yeah no problem. What's going on?"

"I did something I don't personally regret but professionally…my mom is…she lies and she…and I…" Erin's voice trailed off as she turned and slowly headed back outside the building and then stopped; her back still to Kelly as he slowly exited the building and watched her in silence.

"What happened?"

"I was offered…a job in New York. With the FBI."

"FB…I…wow. New York…" Kelly's voice stammered as Erin turned back to look at him with glistening eyes. "Does uh…Voight know?"

"He does. I made a mistake and this was the only way to fix it."

"The only way?" Kelly asked with pursed lips as she nodded. "So…no other job options in Chicago?"

"None that can help my problem go away."

"Go away?...or be fixed?" Kelly pondered as her brow furrowed. "Never knew you to take a deal that including leaving town."

"This one…this deal is important," Erin answered sadly as she turned and looked away. "It's not just about me."

"Shouldn't it be?" Kelly countered as she looked back at him with a heavy frown.

"I'm not running away if that's what you're thinking but…but there is no other way out of this," she insisted as he noticed her frame starting to slightly shiver. "I…I can't fix this."

"I don't know what the issue is but…"

"Bunny killed her boyfriend because she wanted to get his cut of the money from his dealers," Erin blurted out as Kelly just looked at her in shock. "Ah damn…wasn't supposed to tell…I have to go."

"I swear I won't tell, but why can't you fix it?" Kelly asked; once again stopping Erin in her tracks and making her stop and turn back and look at him with a defeated gaze. "I…I just can't believe that New York was the only option."

"The only one I was given."

"Fight for something else; for an option that you want."

"There isn't one," Erin's voice gently gasped as her eyes started to mist. "I…I just wanted to save a child's life and now…now everything is so screwed up. I wish I could go back to somewhere and see the way out next time but…but there won't be a next time."

"Always a next time," Kelly offered with a soft whisper as she bit her bottom lip; her eyes still misted over. "Why can't you fight for what you want? What alternatives did you offer them?"

"I was just so pissed at Bunny and myself for helping her again and…and I didn't think of alternatives."

"Hafta be alternatives right?" Kelly tossed back with a shrug.

"Might not be this time."

"FBI doesn't have any openings here?" He asked, an almost pleading in his tone as they paused just before they reached the opening in the gate to exit back onto the street. "Don't really want you to go."

"I…I don't want to go either. This is my home. My friends are here, family is here…my life is here," she softly implored as they pressed themselves through the gate and emerged a few meters from his car. "Just for the first time in a long time…I don't know what to do."

"Erin…"

"Shoulda just went to the bar and been done with it. Make one more big mistake before I leave town," she ended with a note of sarcasm in her tone. "I hope Mouch pulls through."

"Yeah, me too," Kelly agreed as they slowly walked toward her car. "Glad you didn't go to the bar."

"Me too."

"But…if you want a drink to you know…just discuss options…maybe come up with an alternative plan…there's a great little place around here."

"No…not Molly's. Not tonight."

"Not Molly's," he assured her as he held out his arm.

"Oh…that close?"

"That close," he grinned as her fingers wrapped around her arm and held on tight. He pulled her in a bit closer than expected and planted a small kiss atop her head and whispered, "I'm glad you came here tonight."

She looked up with a tender expression as she felt some of her inner anxiety starting to lessen and nodded in agreement. "Me too. And maybe tomorrow we can go and visit Trudy and Mouch."

"I'd like that," Kelly agreed with a warm smile.

Kelly directed them in the direction of the local dive restaurant he had occasioned; Erin just content to let him take the lead, knowing inside he wasn't about to lead her anywhere that would do her harm. And she leaned in closer to his strong frame, listening to the sound of his husky tone, she felt contentment inside and knew no matter what happened to her after tonight – no matter which path she chose of the emotional fork in her heart she belonged here – in Chicago. This was her home and she wasn't about to let anyone chase her away; especially from him. The fight for her future started right now and she was determined to win.

 _I'm not leaving…_

 **THE END**

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 **A/N:** so much like the eppy's I wanted to leave a few things open ended b/c I don't know how the details will play out and how Erin will decide to stay (and sorry Jay there is no proposal in my world haha) and hope that's okay and hope you all liked this a little and please do review and thanks!


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